Anyone?

I wonder if anyone stills goes onto this piece of shit.
well since everyone is on tumblr, i've decided to come back to this.

I've deactivated my facebook account, O_O.
Anyways,

This evening, I was at Jacqui's house. &It was the hardest thing i've ever seen, felt, or whaaaatever. It brought back up sooo many emotions that i've pushed away. Not only adding to all the fucking stress, and bullshit i've been going through the past couple of days/weeks. I have absolutely no one to talk to about this. :( It's ridiculous. I started ballin when I heard jacqui tellin me what was up. I wanted to go somewhere far and just break down. I never wanted this for her. I never wanted her to go through what Ive been through, cos that shit was going through hell and pass it. It fucking hurts soooo bad, even till now I can't fucking breath at times. I occupy myself with fucking school work, studying, homework, writing fucking notes that I don't even have to write, and re-writing them. &once i'm done being busy, I find myself still crying at night. I'm not as strong as you think. I mean, I'm strong, i'm independant and i'm doing absolutely FINE without you, I don't NEED you. It's more that, I want you and I wish you were still by my side because God is blessing me with sooo much right now and I want you to be apart of that. I would absolutely LOVE to share that with you. I know you're probably thinking at first that I'm doing so well and i'm so situated with my life that you don't wanna intrude, or whatever. But it's not even like that. The reason why i'm doing so well is because YOU make me wanna be a better person. I feel soo alone in this shit, YOU don't even know. I know i'm doing this for myself, but I don't want that to be the only reason. I wanted to share this success with you, because you we're the only one who knew how much I really wanted this. Anyways, you don't know how helpless I've felt with Jacqui. I know I was there to listen, and I was. I felt like shit cos I didn't have any advice to give her to somewhat ease the pain she's currently going through. I couldn't even help myself, until now. How the hell am I suppose to help her through this when I didn't even find ways to help myself. I'm STILL where I last ended up. All I can say is

FUCK. I'm so tired of feeling this way.

Oh and...

I forgot to say,




I jumped off a cliff and went Cliff Diving.




:)

1/2

I don't even know where to begin,but thank you, for everything. We're just barely starting out and look we're already half way there baby, and way more to come. I hope you don't get tired of me, 'cos I won't with you. You're absolutely an amazing person, and I'm so very lucky to have found someone as incredible as you. I'll be the best baby, cross my heart.


Happy 6 Months Jesse Manivong,
I love you.

It's good to be home<33

BLOGSPOT! How i've missed you, haha. Computers in the Philippines we're super slow and it was always lagging. I'm sorry if you felt abandoned by me. Hahah!

Although I miss the Philippines dearly, It's great to be home.
I missed my friendboy, so much. It's so awesome to see him again, and for the rest of you thugs that i've already saw!!! :)

I can't wait to be with all of you again. :)
Anyways,


I'm here at Jesse's by myself while him and his cousin went out to pick someone up. First time i've been alone in his house with his parents.

His parents really liked what I gave them as a souvenir from the P.I. (: I've missed them too. Especially Jamie. I think she comes today, so now I can give her the Hello Kitty backpack I bought for her. I really hope she likes it (: I'm sure she will, because I liked it and it's cute. Alrighty, well......I think i'll go sleep or something. I'll probably blog later.


BTW: I like typing on friendboy's computer keyboard. It makes cool typing sounds when I type. Hahahaaa. :)

bye blogspot! :)

<3JAST!

I'm leaving, on an airplane.

Today is the day i'm leaving for 3 weeks. That's a fucking long ass time without you, I thought a weekend was bad. -___-" totes gay. But not am I only gonna miss you, I'm also gonna miss the thugs, and the real friends uh 'cowse. Have a wonderful rest of JULY! Be safe guys, don't party to hard, and take caresies!

I leave Temecula around 1:30. We're gonna visit my mom at work before we leave, I feels sorries for her 'cos she's gonna be home all by herselfs. So baby, visit her from time to time :) 'cos she get's pretty emotional when she's alone.

But before I leave, Jesse and I are gonna go get breakfast together. I'm gonna miss you dearly, I can't stop saying that! EW, totes fagsies. Hahahahaha, okay.

I just realized that my last 2 blog posts are quite similacs. Haha, but no. Summer has been great so far, just chillen and whatnot.

FUCK, I forgot to pack my hand-carry items. I shall do that now, or later when we're done with foods.

I love you, babe.
always keep your phone on and available, i'll be calling you randomly (:

Summmmmmmmmmer.

chilllin'

summer, mmm.

mm.